why do people change?

Recently I got dinner with a few college buddies that I haven’t seen since graduation, and we were able to catch up on old times and I got a chance to see what they were up to now. I actually enjoy seeing how much people change as opposed to what I remember them last being. And then, sometimes change doesn't seem all that good, and I actually prefer seeing them the way they were. In any case, recently I've been noticing a lot of change in my friends. I think it's probably the fact that we're in that transitional age range that I hear so much about.

It’s funny to see that one or two of them have settled down, gotten married and have kids. One guy who couldn't make it out now has two kids, and yet it almost seems like yesterday that I had to remind him canned corn and a miller-lite isn't “lunch”. Now he’s a responsible dad who is feeding his son healthy stuff (read: not corn/miller-lite combo).

There are times when I can't stand change. A lot of times, at Acacia, I won't be very aware that change is happening, and when it finally sneaks up on, I get surprised, and it takes me a very long time to get used to it. Other times, I see changes coming a mile away, but I just don’t want to deal with it. I understand that sometimes change is necessary, and people will make changes for a variety of reasons. I just need to know when it’s inevitable and accept it sooner rather than later.

One obvious reason is that as we move into a new phase of life, we have to change to adapt to the new roles and responsibilities of that phase. An example is moving to college, or getting married, or becoming a father. In my friend’s case, he became a father, and so he needed to adapt to that role by changing his food choices (among other things). A lot of guys I know start changing the way they dress when they start dating or when they get married. Of course, there are those few guys out there whose wives/mothers still buy them clothes (no judgment here).

well, if cookie monster can change his ways...

Another reason for change is because we need to adapt to a lifestyle that is better for us. A buddy of mine at work changed his workout routine because he felt that he needed to focus on cardio rather than building vanity muscles all the time. Others change the way they eat to be healthier. An example of this is cookie monster. Growing up, we were all used to seeing cookie monster down a plate or two of cookies with no problems. Apparently, these days cookies are a sometimes food for cookie monster and his new favorite foods are eggplants and fruits. Imagine that!

Of course sometimes change occurs to make us feel better. There is an old story about a little boy who went to the field with a baseball and bat. He tossed the ball into the air, saying, "I’m the greatest batter in the world!" Then he swung & missed. "Strike one," he said. He picked up the ball, examined it, and then threw it into the air again. As he swung, he repeated, "I’m the greatest batter in the world." Once again he missed. "Strike two," he said. This time, he stopped to examine his bat to make sure there wasn't a hole in it. Then he picked up the ball and tossed the ball into the air for the 3rd time. He repeated again, "I’m the greatest batter in the world," and swung with all his might and missed for the 3rd straight time. "Wow" he cried, "What a pitcher. I’m the greatest pitcher in the world!" Sometimes, we need to move the goalposts and declare a victory so that we can feel better about ourselves. Is this always healthy? Probably not…but we do it anyways.

Change occurs for a variety of reasons. We can change for self-help reasons such as healthy or sanity. We can also change to keep up with the environment that we are in. I guess for me, I just need to be able to handle the changes that occur because there really isn’t an alternative. Of course with the changes I don’t want to see coming, I still need to work on accepting the changes and move on. Hmm…baby steps I suppose.