small talk

I came across this article a weeks ago called how to make small talk, and it's quickly become one of the few articles I keep bookmarked. It was part of a month-long series called Heading Out on Your Own: 31 Basic Life Skills in 31 Days (I love series like these btw) and has practical advice on how to talk to people. Many of you who know me know that I do not like awkward situations. These days, especially at work and even at church we're sometimes thrust into situations where we have to make small talk.

At work, the most common small talk moments are in the elevator. You get in, and there's the guy that you've seen at the printer a few times. Since you have a nodding acquaintance, you feel obligated to say how was your weekend? And since you asked the question, they gotta reply oh it was good (of course decorum dictates that they shouldn't say it sucked). Now you can either drill down (which i'm sure the other guy doesn't really want), or you can leave some silence.

At church, you have the same situation sometimes. You turn to the person next to you, who in some cases only sat next to you cuz they came late and sitting next to you was better than climbing over a bunch of people to get to their friends. So the pastor just asked people to greet each other, and you're looking around hoping to make eye contact with the guy next to you and silently pleading that there are no awkward handshaking missteps and odd pauses. I know...meeting and greeting new people at church is a good thing, but I'd rather talk to someone I don't know organically, not out of obligation to turn and say hi (i know...i could be out on the far fringes of this one). Greeting outside before the service can be the same situation. Although, here's a little secret - I have a few predetermined small-talk lines based on the weather, calendar, and the niner's home-game schedule.

Here, in these situations, is where this article can help. The steps of initiating small talk are: Anchor, Reveal, and Encourage. Sounds so simple huh?! Yes! I feel so empowered when I read those words! Almost makes me ready to go meet people right now! Well, not so fast there buster...you've only gotten it started. At that point you also have to keep it going. So that's when you ask open-ended questions (no one word answers either). To assist, the article gives the next trio of steps: Observe, Listen, Complement. And of course, then the article ends with: Practice!

Yes! doesn't that make you wanna go out somewhere and talk up a storm?! Seeing as I'm headed to fellowship tonight, I'll let you know how this works out.

hypothetical future occupation?

A comment left on a post from a few days ago, combined with the fact that I just watched "what to expect when you're expecting", has sparked an interest in the rare but growing american phenomenon that is the househusband. According to wikipedia, a stay-at-home-dad is a father who is the main caregiver of the children and is the homemaker of the household. As families evolve and women have taken on greater roles in the workplace, income parity has caused a shift in male/female roles in the home.

Apparently, the industrial revolution is responsible for the downfall of the househusband. Pre-industrial-revolution era saw the father more involved in the family life, taking care of the kids along with the wife and running the family as an individual, self-sustaining unit. The advent of technology caused the father to start going to work for other people and becoming more dependent on a centralized unit (i.e. company) to be able to provide for his family (as opposed to hunting and farming). Of course we can’t really blame the industrial revolution as being all bad…we did get much goodness out of it (i.e. showers).

I suppose with evolving family roles and a sour economy it is becoming more and more socially acceptable for a guy to take on the home-making role. This social openness has led many more secretive househusbands to "come out of the pantry".

Well, since I was looking it up anyways, my curiosity sparked a wider search, and I came across some househusband gadgets...pretty cool stuff! Check out the below for a sampling:

NFL Apron (for barbecuing of course…) – ever wanted to grill those perfect ribs while making a statement about your favorite team?! Well this is the product for you!
Functionality: 5/10
Price: 3/10

The Roomba – tired of sweeping the floors? This will make cleaning and vacuuming as simple as pushing a button and making sure the kids are standing/sitting on something sturdy.
Functionality: 7/10
Price: 4/10

The Magical Cube – this gem usually comes with large appliances such as refrigerators and washer/dryers. The magical cube can be transformed into a fort for the kids or a time machine (with a little imagination) or even a transmogrifier. The magical cube also goes by a more common name: the cardboard box.
Functionality: 10/10
Price: 10/10

Aside from the fun gadgets, apparently there's other pretty neat things about househusbandry. Recently I've been watching some pretty cool cooking videos on youtube and food network. I doubt this will be me in the future (lol never say never?), but I suppose I wouldn't mind cooking...full time or not. Have a look at the following video and tell me you don't wanna get your hands dirty. =)

a culinary journey through davis

Slow afternoon at work today…and I’m celebrating the fact that daviswiki just got unblocked at work…

As a working person whose hours can vary from season to season, it’s tough to consistently cook for myself. Some nights I come home and I just want to knock out. Other night I’ll either be at small group or meeting up with a friend, and those nights are inevitably charged to my credit card. On days like these, there are quite a few places in davis to pick from. A cursory glance at daviswiki would confirm that this town is a melting pot of americanized cultural foods and other culinary trappings. Let’s visit some of my davis favorites:

The first place we visit will be the corner in south davis right by the tunnel, where the shell gas station is. This is where Café Italia, In-n-out, and Redrum Burger are. This triumvirate of heart-stopping food are all quite tasty, and although In-n-out isn’t indigenous to Davis, it is still one of the favorites of most people here. Redrum is one of those places that I never actually go to (I think the last time I went was 7 years ago), but I do remember it being very good. I also remember having the most epic food coma afterwards, so for the sake of wanting to be awake in the hours/days after a meal, I stay away from that place. Café Italia is definitely a good place to go, although a meal there can get kinda pricey. They have a really good clams linguine, which my roommate showed me how to make, but I would still go for the garlic bread. There was a rumor that they were going to move closer to where I live, but good thing they didn’t. If that had happened, I’d pretty much have to get my direct deposit re-routed to Café Italia.

As we move into downtown, we enter the protected land of local businesses. The Davis Planning Commission is very cautious about moving big chains and big business anywhere near the few blocks we know as downtown Davis. There are a few pretty good places to eat, and my favorite has got to be Hometown. No, not the buffet, but the Chinese food place in the upstairs of what looks like an apartment building. The food here is pretty authentic, and the people that work here are very nice (except when you pay by credit card). Across the street you have the Dumpling House and Noodle City. Those are both owned by the same people I think, and serve pretty good and cheap food. The old lady at the Dumpling House is awesome! She reminds me of the matchmaker in Mulan, and totally cracks me up. You just gotta give her a hard time and she’ll throw it right back at you haha.

Aside from these downtown places, there are a few I would like to highlight in the surrounding areas. Jade Garden in east davis is very good. Their lunch specials are pretty good deals and you can pretty much get 2-3 meals out of one of those bad boys (great for college students). There’s also Shanghai-Town in west Davis. This place has some pretty good Shanghainese food and is also a good place to take your folks if they’re in town. The place doesn’t look like much, but the food makes up for it. And lastly, there’s Guadalajara’s. This place is a Davis institution, and boasts the super-giant burrito (a burrito that stretches around 2.5ft) although their tacos are much better. They have two locations, and both are pretty good. There are many nights when I would work late, and swing by there to pick up dinner on the way home.

Of course, then there are those nights when I get off work at 4pm, no small group, no prayer meeting, no trivia nights. The stars align perfectly and the kitchen gods smile favorably upon me as my car pulls into the parking lot at nugget for a fresh salmon filet from the fish guy, or a nice selection of seasonal vegetables from the friendly produce guy as I try to balance out my fiber intake. Those days are more common now, but I still treasure them none-the-less. I value being able to get some fresh produce and meat and trying something new from my old issues of gourmet magazine (before they stopped print) or something random I found on youtube (Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey have good clips).

I’m sure this list will be updated as I remember more and more about what’s in town, but for now, that’s pretty much it for the food in town. At least the ones worth going to. Maybe Chipotle too, but that’s not local I suppose.

pinterest lies!

for those of you who use pinterest, or heard about this "super easy" mac'n cheese recipe by microwaving the elbows in milk to cook the pasta, let me burst this bubble right now: it does not produce awesomely fantastic results. Just do it the old fashioned way.

I now have soupy cheese broth and some milky elbow noodles.

just a side note: i don't use pinterest. i just got this recipe from a friend. very disappointing.

50 beans | check yourself.

Yep, I'm almost certain this comes as no big shock to anybody who reads this blog (I might as well have told you the earth is round). Let me clarify a bit. I drink coffee for a combination of reasons: for the sights and smells, for the warmth as you hold a cup in your hands, the aroma that brings a smile to your face, and yes, definitely for the caffeine kick. However, most importantly, I enjoy coffee. I enjoy coffee for the taste, the smell, the sensation of the slightly thicker consistency that it has, and yes, the alertness it brings.

Sadly, my motives for drinking coffee is not always out of pure enjoyment. I use coffee. I use it for my own personal gain. As a person who sleeps on average 5-6 hours a night, I use it for the kick it provides, regardless of the flavor, guzzling it at times just for the caffeine high. Oh don’t look at me like that. We’ve all been there. I know at one point or another you’ve done what I’ve often done: make a quick run to the local coffee shop, or worse, the local gas station for a quick caffeine jolt.

Recently I’ve been challenged to reconsider my reasons for drinking coffee, a caffeinated motive check of sorts. What are my reasons for consuming cup after cup of this stuff? Am I really doing it for the enjoyment factor? Or is this just another way of making up for lack of sleep? I was certain I started off with good motives. After all I’ve loved the sights and smells of coffee since I was a kid (and I still do), but when I reach for that next cup of coffee, why am I doing it?

On another coffee blog that I follow, the writer has embarked on a coffee fast, which is something that I’ve tried before; however, this is a partial fast, which I’ve never really done, or heard of. He stresses that he enjoys coffee, but uses it like a drug, taking a hit whenever he needed it. When I read that I felt convicted - I was doing that too! Especially when I have so much going on in life right now, it’s so easy to just rely on it as my sole crutch to get me through the day.

I recall Paul’s exhortation in 1 Corinthians 10:23 – Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. Everything is permissible – but not everything is constructive. I believe this applies to my coffee experience. There is certainly nothing wrong with consuming coffee, but to let it become a crutch means that I am certainly not consuming it for God’s glory, which is a path I shouldn’t let my coffee journey take me down. As Paul also says to the Corinthians: So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31) This, I’ve come to realize, is something I must keep in mind as I explore my coffee hobby. I should enjoy it, but not let myself become dependent on it. I can still extoll the virtues of coffee, but not let coffee become a crutch. Hopefully I can keep this challenge in my mind as I continue my coffee journey.

red flagged

jetlagged again...so i got some time. strap yourselves in...we're going on a rant!

The lady at the US Airways check-in counter didn't like me. Normally, I'm horrible at reading people. I can't tell if someone likes or loathes me, but with this lady, I knew the moment she looked at me. Maybe it was the fact that there weren't many asians in Rome? Maybe I had just had a certain look. I'm not sure, all I know is that this lady did not like me. We'll call her Miriam, since... well, that was her real name (yea let's just say if you flag me as a terrorist, the courtesy of a fake-name isn't extended to you).

The minute I walked up to the counter she started the series of questions...the usual stuff first. Are you transporting anything dangerous? Did anyone give you any strange packages? Apparently she didn't like my answers to binary yes/no questions, so she pointed me to a back room to search my checked luggage. Then she brought in two more ppl to search, since she said I appeared nervous. Yea, US Airways put their check-in counter in a makeshift open-air warehouse (imagine birds everywhere) at Fiumicino airport with no air conditioning when Rome is routinely in the 80's with 85-90% humidity and she's wondering why her customer has a little bit of sweat on his forehead?  Miriam, lets just say if it wasn't the temperature in the warehouse, then my uneasiness could also be contributed to the fact that a pigeon just flew by my head at the airport counter.

After a thorough search of my luggage, she tagged them as oversized (it was a carry-on sized bag) so they'd be re-examined before going into the plane. Then she escorted me to security and mentioned to the guy at the metal detector to thoroughly check me. After a through search that revealed nothing (big surprise!) i went on my merry way into the terminal. I got to the airport 2 hours before the flight so I could have enough time to get some coffee and walk around the terminal a bit. Yeaaaa, i now have only 15 minutes to get to the gate for boarding. I get out my boarding pass, get in line, and as i got to the counter, guess who was there?

Miriam was there waiting for me, and flagged me over to two security officer for a "random" preboarding check of bags and pockets. Again. And they found nothing suspicious. Again. You would think that she'd have given up by now, but nope. I felt tempted to make a comment to her as i boarded the plane, but it'd be a rude awakening if i got to Charlotte and she was there with some US Customs agents. No, no...just keep walking.

I honestly can't believe one disgruntled US Airways check-in lady could single-handedly have so much power to mess with someone the whole day. She basically picked me out of a lineup and decided to have some fun. Well i guess my encounter with Miriam is over hopefully...unless she put me on a no-fly list too. I hope not...

50 beans | happy international coffee day!

according to the good folks at wikipedia, today is international coffee day! I'm currently not in the states, but I am travelling with a long-time coffee buddy, and we intend on celebrating here in sunny Monaco with an attempt at a coffee crawl! (well, assuming Monaco has enough coffee shops for a crawl...this place is tiny)

the closest thing i could find to a coffee-day bunny

I'm so glad this day isn't as commercialized as other holidays. I cringe at the possibility of one day feeling obliged to buy people Coffee Day presents, or take my kids to the local coffee shop for coffee-bean hunts (presumably with a fictional coffee-day bunny that lays coffee beans).

Of course, it wouldn't be International Coffee Day without a little coffee-day history. Apparently nobody knows where coffee day originated from, but many countries around the world celebrate this day (not always on 9/29). I'm surprised that many of the places that celebrate international coffee day are asian (japan, china, taiwan, indonesia, phillipines, etc)! Anyways, hopefully this day brings a bit more awareness to coffee and coffee appreciation.

We're heading out soon, so I bid you farewell and Happy (or is it merry?) Coffee Day!