weaknesses and fig leaves

Ever since finishing the hunger games series, I've been torn between wanting to flip through the pages of 1776 and uncovering little nuggets of historical obscurities or continue through Why Guys Need God, which I'm told (by the back cover) will help me understand myself better (and my people), but will obviously lack the little morsels of historical pleasures. On Monday, I ended up being indecicive, watched the new episode of community, then dived into both, secretly hoping that my week would be free enough to be able to finish off the duo.

Incidentally, this week has turned out to be a pretty weird and particularly difficult week for me. The first two days have been some of the worst days at work I've encountered in at least a few months. It's just been one weird issue after another. Then, on wednesday morning I learn that my grandpa, who has been in and out of the hospital for the last few months, has not been doing well, so I'm on my way to Beijing on Sunday. On the bright side, he got baptized a few weeks ago in his hospital bed, so that's always a praise and prayer request answered. My fondest memory of my grandpa was always going to hongkou park in the afternoons to walk around the lake and look at the leaves. Going back this time around, I'm just not sure i'm prepared to see him in this state.

I don't know if many people know this, but I tend to horse around a lot. At times, when I don't want confrontation or tension or pain, I've tried to diffuse certain situations with (sometimes off-color) humor so that people will lighten up. Some of my friends, and occasionally my boss, will point this out to me. Yea...I guess I'm working on it. In chapter two of Mike Erre's book, he discusses the masks guys hide behind. We (guys) tend to try to find an escape, rather than dealing with life's difficulties (I guess i'm not alone?). I suppose that's why a lot of guys hit the bottle in an attempt to flee their problems. Even more simply ignore their problem and go about with a façade, as if nothing's wrong.

I do this (not hit the bottle, but the other thing). Many times I hide instead of stepping forward, avoid instead of owning. It's easy to deal with the superficial problems and shy away from the real ones. Many of the images I grew up with of great, tough men, are what I would see in pop culture. Denzel Washington is very good at portraying this kind of guy, the internally conflicted but I'm invincible on the outside character. This is often what society's definition of a manly man is: never admit or show weakness, keep it deep down and tucked away, and only show your strong exterior. This is what years of TV and movies and other stuff have drilled into my head, except, this image doesn't jive with what the bible says. Paul embraced his weakness:

I will boast about a man like that, but I will not boast about myself, except about my weaknesses. Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:5-10)

At the time of Paul's conversion, God chose not to use Paul's strengths. As a matter of fact, in Acts 22, Paul recounts how was ready to use his Jerusalem connections for God, after all, he knew all the major players in the Jewish religious and political scene, but God had other plans for him. God sent him elsewhere, where any benefit of Paul's previous life, any advantages that may have carried, would be useless. God sent him far away to the gentiles. This is the paradoxical truth of what men should strive for: to delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. I think this is what the author refers to when he describes the goodness of thorns. Our weakness compels us to drop the façade (what he likens to fig leaves), and face life's difficulties as they are.

As I'm preparing for my trip, I know everything I need to do from a logistical standpoint (what to pack, how to get from the airport to my grandpa's place, etc), but I'm having trouble preparing myself mentally and emotionally for this next week. I don't know what to expect, how to handle things when I get there. I have the weekend (with the acacia retreat) before heading out to SFO, but that's pretty much it. With that and an eleven hour flight, I hope I can prepare myself at least a little bit. As I look over the blog-post from the last time I went to visit him, the same comforting verse re-established itself in my mind:

From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. (Psalm 61:2)

50 beans | going over to the dark (roast) side

Saw this on a coffee blog I follow...

Designer Eric Beatty is a genius. Developed for a school project that asked students to design new products for Urban Outfitters, Eric created this coffee concept, bringing coffee enjoyment to star wars fans everywhere. The set of character boxes include Darth Coffee Blend (dark roast, I'm sure), Stormtrooper Filters, and Chewbacca Brown Sugar.

too bad this isn't really in production. It'd definitely do well with coffee/starwars fans.

kindles, airborne.

apparently they now have kindle mounts for pilots

Taxi, take-offs, and landings. Those are pretty much the only time I spend on flights where the skymall magazine is ever relevant for me (skymall offers no good deals, ever). Well, relevant is a loosely applied term. Those are the only times when I ever flip open the pages of skymall. This is in part because of the FAA rule that bans electronics from the first and last 10 minutes of flights where you're taking off and landing. Oh, taxiing too. For some odd reason, it's believed that electronics can mess with the navigation system of an airplane. Personally I think it's a bit hoky to think that an ipod purchased from best buy could flummox a state-of-the-art avionics system on an airplane.

Well, now it looks like there's going to be some give on that policy. Recently, the FAA has allowed the use of ipads in the cockpit, as airlines are putting all flight manuals on ipads to save space in the cockpit. The NYT reports that the FAA is taking the initiative to look into relaxing the rule and allowing ipads and kindles for passengers to use. Of course, this will take some time, as apparently they have to actually test each individual device separately on a plane with no people, which could be kind of a waste of gas (although being able to bust this myth would be nice).

So, hopefully within the next few years, we'd have the option to listen to music while we peer out the window or read something other than skymall (if we're in the aisle seat). Hmm, maybe by the time this rule is relaxed, we'd be on the ipad 6 where you can track your plane's progress live while using the in-flight app on the airplane's free (yea right) wifi. Or maybe by then they'll have developed a system where it remotely controls our  approved electronics devices so that we'll only have the option of perusing the skymall magazine on kindles and ipads during taxi, take-offs, and landings.

Sadly, the second option seems more likely.

I would make a horrible leprechaun

When I think of fairy tales, I think of the three little pigs, hansel and gretel, cinderella, snow white, mostly stories of innocence and cleverness and heroics, featuring characters that you can identify with at some point, or would like to identify with. For some reason, some very odd reason, the irish imagination concocted the leprechaun, an old, shriveled up midget-like man with a long unattractive nose and a pointy ear, hat, and shoes. He spends his time making shoes and storing away his gold in a pot that is kept at the end of a rainbow. Eventually this image of the leprechaun evolved to be more palatable to kid's imaginations, and the leprechaun turned into a midget-like (some things never change...) green-clad pilgrim.

Seeing as this creature isn't what you would consider traditionally pretty, it's funny to try to imagine how the irish came up with the idea of the leprechaun. I wonder if there was an irish guy that always wore green, and so the people around him just started calling him that, and it eventually evolved into something of mythical status. I don't know...just a thought. Anyways, as it turns out, I went into work today (in a super bright green sweater) expecting everyone to be wearing green =/ , as it is St. Patricks day tomorrow. Clearly, I over-estimated the enthusiasm of my coworkers. I went through the entire day labeled as a leprechaun...

*sigh* I would make a terrible leprechaun.

bumfuzzled.

I don't know if you've ever been in this situation before. You know that feeling, where everyone you know is at the prom, and the remaining people you kinda knew who didn't go to the dance went to the movies, and forgot to call you? So instead of dancing or catching a movie, you're just bumming around at home watching TV and wishing you were out and about? Well i'm almost certain that's what Villanova's basketball team is feeling right now. Due to an abysmal season, they were left out of the NCAA tournament, and even worse, the NIT (college basketball's consolation prize) didn't extend an invite either. So, they were pretty much sitting at home watching the tournament on TV.

I've been following 'Nova basketball most of my life, and this year was pretty sad. They started off doing alright, then kinda fizzled out after the first few games. Combine that with the fact that they're in a tough conference with some heavyweights (Big East got 10 teams in the tourney this season), and that resulted in 'Nova pretty much getting slapped around most season. *sigh* There's always next year seems to be the chronic battle-cry for all the teams I support since, well, ever.

men and God

"I don't naturally gravitate toward having quiet times with Jesus, where I simply bask in His love. My biological dad and I don't bask in each other's love. We go fishing. I'd like to go fishing with Jesus."

The above is from chapter 1 of the book I just started reading called Why Guys Need God by Mike Erre (pastor at rock harbor church in Costa Mesa,CA). I picked this book up at a men's conference about a year ago, but haven't really had the chance to read it yet. I decided to start this book this afternoon (I needed a day off from hunger games haha) since I had gotten off work at a reasonable time.

So far I've only gone through the first chapter, and it's a little interesting to see the perspective this pastor has. He touched upon some of the same things that David Murrow brings up in an article I read on Boundless a few months ago. I had a few issues with that article, which categorized men in the church into five fairly undesirable categories. It seemed like it was identifying a problem, and then simply leaving it there. While going through the first chapter of this book, I saw a few similar points, but this book tries to tackle the problem by asserting that guys need to not only be image-bearers of God, but also address the fact that we're men and need to act like it. Now he's not saying that all guys in church are wimpy pansies, but he makes the distinction between maleness (being male gender-wise) and masculinity (having a man identity - culturally and spiritually).

I think it's important to be able to pursue God while maintaining the masculinity that God gave us. I know that it's not necessarily something that we should be doing alone, and I think that's why churches with men's and outdoor ministries have been thriving lately. I feel sad that our church doesn't have a men's ministry that addresses that need, and that it's an important aspect of a christian community. I've always thought that girls simply connected better, I see it in Acacia all the time. They get together regularly for sister's breakfasts and stuff. It's like it comes naturally to them.

For guys it's not exactly like that. I don't feel a special instant connection to George or Dave or Joe, and that's ok because we're created differently than the girls. We're MEN! But men need support and the community just the same, though we would want to do it differently because as men we're created with a masculine mindset. As people, we're made in the image of God, and as men we play our own unique (manly) part in God's world.

I'm looking forward to the next few chapters, though I'm still not entirely sure what to expect, but I'll keep you folks updated if I come across anything interesting.

50 beans | dream job, reborn

picture shamelessly pilfered from the NYT coffee page

Every once in a while, whether it'd be chatting with a coworker, during a job interview, or doing introductions at fellowship, I'll get asked what my dream job is. This happens at least once a month. Depending on what my mood is, I'll either say: an economist with the IMF (they do loan/aid packages for struggling countries), working for the post office (mail-sorting machines seem fun), or more recently, opening a coffee shop (if you're ever bored, ask me about the flying coffee concept).

Well, now I have a new dream job. Ever since I started randomly posting about coffee, I've been upping my curiosity not just for various methods of brewing or different types of coffee, but I've also been getting curious about the caffeine influenced society and coffee culture. There's so much to learn about the magical world of coffee, and David McCullough (1776 guy) affirms that one of the best ways to learn about something you know little of is to write about it.

Oliver Strand is currently the New York Times coffee curator (doesn't that sound like awesome title?!) and maintains the Times Topic on coffee. He mostly travels around the NY area to keep up on local coffee happenings and stuff, but will occasionally travel around the world to keep up with international coffee news. Because Mr. Strand works for the NYT and gets pretty good coffee journalism credibility (if such a thing existed), he maintains great relationships with many of the independent coffee roasters around the country, and, get this, he gets free coffee all the time. Plus you get to meet interesting folks like the roasters and small shop baristas (especially the hipsters in portland with the skinny lattes/jeans, fixie bike, and the anime hair). Hot-diggity, this would be sooo cool to do (and not just for the free coffee...the coffee-related traveling's cool too), even if only for a few months. I think this job just trumped the coffeeshop/economist/post office mail-sorter dreams jobs. *sigh* if only wishing made it so...

While thinking about all the coffee-travels this job entails, I wonder if it has ever occured to anyone to do coffee-related missions? A lot of times we talk about our occupation and our workplace being our missions field, so-much-so that it's almost become a cliché. I wonder if there would be a place in missions for a coffee curator? Oliver Strand does quite a bit of travelling to meet with roasters and baristas, and occasionally going overseas to the supply side, the growers. Imagine the people you'd encounter, the farmer, the distribution guy, the person overseeing the operations of a coffee coop; basically anybody up the coffee bean processing chain. One could easily turn a coffee procurement trip into a missions trip. I realize that this is kind of targeting your ministry at a particular industry, and kind of neglecting the other people, but don't we all have to start small and go from somewhere?

On the business side, where you'd be going around and checking out coffee-shops, I wonder if there's a place for missions there? When I was working in Shanghai, I met regularly with Beth, a missionary from Wisconsin, who was well into her 60's. She moved to the city sometime in the early 1990's after her kids had moved out and gotten married/settled down. She set-up shop in the back of local restaurants and coffee houses, leading a bible study in English once a week. She ministers to those in Shanghai who are seeking to know the Lord and also those who are aching to learn some English. A good byproduct of this ministry is that she gets to try out different coffeeshops while doing this.

I feel the coffee curator job would be a perfect role for a tentmaker missionary. I'd have a professional job (drink and evaluate coffee) as a coffee curator (seriously, awesomest title ever), which gives me that creative access I would need to get into closed country. I'd also have access to a lot of people in varying roles, and be in a position to develop long-term relationships with people in the industry. BTW, did I mention the occasional free coffee??

I know...I could still do the coffee-oriented missions even without the job, but then I'd have to get a real job and stuff. Meh...that'd be more realistic, but since we are talking about dream jobs...hehe. I am starting to consider doing that here in Sac first. Afterall, Pastor Gee does challenge us that if we can't do missions in our own backyard, how are we expecting to do it in a foreign land? Possibly starting with local coffee shops and seeing where it leads? Getting paid to do something like this would be awesome though, definitely a dream job. So...what can I actually do to even get into a position like that? I have no clue, but I suppose it starts with blogging on coffee...

a little cast-iron state pride.

picture courtesy of TheKitchn blog (they don't know...shhh don't tell them)



Being a californian, I am often unsure about how to show my state pride (yess I love my state). Well now there is the perfect tool/home decor item: the custom states cast-iron pans. I came across this on another blog I follow (naturally the comments there gave rise to the inevitable state panhandle jokes), and this thing looks awesome! I can now make a massive pancake in the shape of California AND decorate my kitchen with it at the same time. The only sad part is, if you live in Hawaii or Alaska, you're out of luck (all for the best i guess...nobody wants a pancake that is in 8 different pieces, and alaska's pancake would probably take a family of 7 to eat). In any case, this is a pretty novel idea, and I must say the artist/creator is pretty industrious if he can custom make these humongous skillets out of cast-iron and still retain the general shape of the state. The california one looks kinda beastly though, double handled and all...

also courtesy of TheKitchn blog

today is anything but super.

Looking ahead at today's tsunami of delegates (410 to be exact) that will be mopped up by the top republican candidates, I can't help but feel sad at what the near future of the republican party holds. If the only options for the republican presidential nominee are the current panel of candidates, I believe the GOP is facing certain doom in the fall.

As Super Tuesday voting starts today in ten states, I reflect back on the panel of candidates we have for the republican primary. I can't see one particular candidate as being very presidential, which, I will admit, is a trait that everyone has to define in their own minds. Someone being presidential in one person's mind doesn't mean that person is presidential in another's. I view it as the undefined characteristic. There is no measuring stick or barometer for how "presidential" a person is. It's one of those things, I suppose you'll know it when you see it. It's essentially what the Romans called gravitas. It encompasses a certain feeling that you sense from a person, a seriousness and sense of dignity. I suppose it's what I would define as "presidential", and I don't see that gravitas in any of the current candidates.

Which is why, part of me hopes that the race will be close all the way to the convention, and that a "dark horse" emerges, much like Polk, Harding, or Lincoln, and picks up the votes. The only person I can think of, the only person, that can enter the game this late, still pick up the republican nomination, and have a shot against the democrats in the fall, is Colin Powell. He would not only energize the party, but running him against President Obama will actually take race out of the picture for either side, leaving them to focus more on the issues itself. Of course, he has said repeatedly that he's not interested in pursuing that.

Now, I know I may offend certain people here with a politically-charged post, but hear me out. I'm not saying I'm unhappy with Obama, or that he needs to step down, but I simply agree with the republicans more on issues. In the interest of full-disclosure, I have to admit that I have been a republican for most of my life. I would characterize myself as a moderate, not because I tend to steer myself away from activism and controversy, but because I am swayed by the merits of individual issues, sometimes falling on the right, and sometimes falling on the left. I view myself as a conservative on most issues, and progressive on a few.

Right now, there doesn't seem to be much to be excited about for Super Tuesday. It seems like we're just picking the guy we dislike the least. I wish there were a better option, or one that speaks to my issues more, but there isn't one. All of these guys have the right qualifications, but none have that presidential feel, that gravitas. For now I'll just watch and see what happens, hopefully someone will step out of the shadows and lead.

50 beans | grateful for centuries of progress

Last night as I was rummaging through some old photo folders, I came across a few from a vacation that never made its way to facebook. While I was curious why I never posted these, I also was reminded of this little piece of coffee history I had to endure:

On a clear, bright (and incredibly humid) morning in July in 2007, our family (well julie and michelle's family...I just tagged along) sat down for breakfast in a little cafe near the Megaro Mousikis metro station, a quick little meal before tackling the famed acropolis (back when athens was nice and not rioting). After the girls had ordered their crepes, it was my turn, and since I didn't have any way of getting my usual caffeine fix, I decided to give their turkish coffee a try.

Now here comes a little jolt of caffinated history (you can tune this paragraph out if you like). Although coffee had its birthplace in Ethiopia and the word is arabic, the coffeehouse concept was developed in modern-day Turkey, where the first coffeehouse was opened in Istanbul in 1554. Coffee had a profound impact on Ottoman empire, so much that the turkish word for breakfast literally translates to "before coffee". The primary form of coffee served at that time in turkish coffeehouses was turkish coffee (although i'm sure it was just referred to as coffee), and so it reflects one of the earliest preparation methods for coffee. Naturally, I had to try it.

Well, le me be the first to say that I am extremely glad that we've come a long way since then. 500+ years of progress has certainly benefitted coffee drinkers everywhere. The coffee came in a tiny little pot sitting on a tray with an espresso cup. As I poured the coffee into my cup, I noticed it had a color and consistency similar to used motor oil. While not being too excited about putting that into my body (there was no way this was gonna be healthy), I figured, what the heck, I'll give it a go.

Apparently "strong" isn't enough to describe what it tasted like. Due to the way it's prepared (the finely ground coffee powder isn't actually filtered out), you pretty much have to know how long to let the grounds settle before drinking it, and you also have to know when to stop drinking it, lest you end up with a mouthful of silt. I didn't know either. What resulted was a horrifying ten seconds of coffee drinking that I wish I will never experience again.

Since the Ottoman empire, coffee consumption and enjoyment has evolved in ways that the first coffeehouse owner never would've imagined. We now have, at our disposal, hundreds of different ways of brewing coffee, and thankfully, quite a few ways of filtering it as well. While it was interesting to get a glimpse of what coffee would have been like all those years ago, I'm perfectly fine getting my cup of brew from a chemex or espresso machine.