clearly not a blessing from heaven.

I feel cheated.

I feel used.

I was told to expect it, and it didn’t deliver.

It was a clear blue Saturday morning, winds gusting at 22mph from the north. The early afternoon sun was just overhead, ready to darken my flip flop tan by another few shades. As I was raking up the last of the leaves outside Birch Lane Elementary, it happened. There is something distinct about the slight warmth and sliminess of bird poop that will inevitable send chills down the back of your spine. When you get hit, you just KNOW it’s not rain. I looked up, and guess what?? NO BIRDS ANYWHERE!! Ok I know the winds were gusting that day, but seriously?! So not only did I get hit by bird poop, I got hit by bird poop that was generated like, a block away. Yep. High self-esteem day for me.

According to maritime tradition, being pooped on by a bird is considered a blessing from the heavens. Somehow I think that’s just a myth some very unlucky sailor concocted. I honestly don’t think being crapped on would be any bit of a good thing, not to mention mystery poop from a phantom bird. Since that day, I’ve had two crappy (no pun intended) days at work and ate a sandwich with funny-tasting olives that’s sure to lead to my downfall. Some Luck!