small talk

I came across this article a weeks ago called how to make small talk, and it's quickly become one of the few articles I keep bookmarked. It was part of a month-long series called Heading Out on Your Own: 31 Basic Life Skills in 31 Days (I love series like these btw) and has practical advice on how to talk to people. Many of you who know me know that I do not like awkward situations. These days, especially at work and even at church we're sometimes thrust into situations where we have to make small talk.

At work, the most common small talk moments are in the elevator. You get in, and there's the guy that you've seen at the printer a few times. Since you have a nodding acquaintance, you feel obligated to say how was your weekend? And since you asked the question, they gotta reply oh it was good (of course decorum dictates that they shouldn't say it sucked). Now you can either drill down (which i'm sure the other guy doesn't really want), or you can leave some silence.

At church, you have the same situation sometimes. You turn to the person next to you, who in some cases only sat next to you cuz they came late and sitting next to you was better than climbing over a bunch of people to get to their friends. So the pastor just asked people to greet each other, and you're looking around hoping to make eye contact with the guy next to you and silently pleading that there are no awkward handshaking missteps and odd pauses. I know...meeting and greeting new people at church is a good thing, but I'd rather talk to someone I don't know organically, not out of obligation to turn and say hi (i know...i could be out on the far fringes of this one). Greeting outside before the service can be the same situation. Although, here's a little secret - I have a few predetermined small-talk lines based on the weather, calendar, and the niner's home-game schedule.

Here, in these situations, is where this article can help. The steps of initiating small talk are: Anchor, Reveal, and Encourage. Sounds so simple huh?! Yes! I feel so empowered when I read those words! Almost makes me ready to go meet people right now! Well, not so fast there buster...you've only gotten it started. At that point you also have to keep it going. So that's when you ask open-ended questions (no one word answers either). To assist, the article gives the next trio of steps: Observe, Listen, Complement. And of course, then the article ends with: Practice!

Yes! doesn't that make you wanna go out somewhere and talk up a storm?! Seeing as I'm headed to fellowship tonight, I'll let you know how this works out.